So many feelings. Nervous. Excited. Anxious. So many questions...can I do this? Am I crazy? What about insurance? Will I make it? And the nagging thought of "You have a kid now, you should be responsible and get a "real" job."
But I can't.
I can't do it anymore.
Something happened about 2 years ago with the pinnacle of a need for change happened when I went to a conference in Palm Springs called Designer Vaca. I went to a conference with nothing but other women who are designers and creatives....aka my people. It was a place where I didn't know a single person, I roomed with 3 ladies I never met, and I was terrified. But what happened was truly life changing. I met "internet famous" design bosses and realized...they really are just like me. They have the same doubts and frustrations and fear that I do. But they did it. They're killing it. And every single one of them said the same thing to me...just do it and don't look back. They all willingly admitted it will be hard, there will be times where you're scared of not being able to pay your bills, but give it your all. Give it everything you've got and you'll succeed. I left with friendships with women all over the world because we all realized how similar we were. That we weren't alone in our fears. I left with more confidence in myself and my talent, and more importantly I left with a plan. I was going to quit my job and finally go off on my own. Because I knew I had far surpassed the point where the fear of failure wasn't nearly as scary to me anymore as my fear of regret.
Will I make it? I believe so. I may be living off ramen for a while like I'm in college, but I'm determined I'll make it.
And if I don't, at least I know I gave it everything I had.